A Just Cause
by Demon of the Sand
Summary: UPDATE: Now in two chapters. Lemon in the second chapter.  What if Anders was actually trying to separate himself from Justice? NSFW. Fem!Hawke/Anders. LEMON warning. Originally written without the lemon.
1. Chapter 1

_**Author's Note**__ time! This was originally written without the lemon, sort of a what-if scenario. What if Anders was actually trying to separate himself from Justice? Here's my take._

_Disclaimer: All characters and such are owned by Bioware. I wish I owned Anders. And Alistair. I mean, damn._  
>_<p>

"I need your help." The sudden declaration startled Hawke, who dropped the dagger she was polishing. She looked up to see Anders standing above her, shifting from one foot to the other, a hopeful gleam in his eyes. She raised an eyebrow at him as she reached down to retrieve her knife from the dusty floor. Her brow furrowed in annoyance as she noticed bits of dirt clinging to the newly shiny blade.

"What now?" She asked, brushing the dust from the dagger. "Let me guess: kittens need rescuing? Little old lady needs help up a ladder? Isabela fell into the sewers—again?"

"Ha ha, very funny." A touch of sarcasm entered the blonde mage's voice. "Actually, it's a more serious request. As in life or death."

That caught Hawke's attention and she looked up again from her blade. The look on Anders' face told her that this was indeed a matter of no small importance. She put the knife aside and leaned her elbows on her knees, bracing herself for whatever he was going to say next. "Go on."

"I found a way to separate myself from Justice." At that, Hawke could've sworn her eyebrows shot off the top of her head. She sat up straighter.

"You—what? But how? I thought that was impossible without ripping both your souls apart."

"Usually, it is. But I've been doing research—you know, with some of those books the Chantry doesn't like. Apparently, there is a way to separate two beings, including those in the form of abominations, where death is unnecessary. They didn't want this information getting out to the mages for fear that there would be a rise in blood magic, as any mage could perform this ritual to reverse any kind of possession." His eyes flashed at the further evidence of the Chantry's bigotry.

Hawke nodded, understanding creeping into her expression. "Religious tyranny aside, this is good news. If we can gather all the materials, you'll be free. Free to run off with Varric and have twenty half-dwarven children, just like you've always dreamed," Hawke sighed in mock delight at the thought.

"Andraste's holy knickers…" he sighed, exasperated. "Let's just gather the materials and get this over with."  
>_<p>

Once they got past the smell of the sewers and the spiders dropping from the ceiling in the mines, the Sela Petrae and Drakestone were both relatively easy to find. With Anders guiding the way, the small team gathered a good amount of each in what must have been record time. It was also, aside from complaints from Isabela about nug poop on her boots and Fenris' generally bad attitude, an enjoyable adventure.

As soon as they emerged from the sewers, Isabela and Fenris left Anders and Hawke to their business, neither wanting to stay in the sewer vicinity any longer than necessary. The clinic was nearly empty upon their return; there was one young boy with an infected scratch on his leg, but that was easily taken care of.

As soon as the boy left, Anders extinguished the lanterns outside and bolted the door shut. He turned to Hawke, who was making herself comfortable on one of the bloodstained examination tables. She was picking at the rust-colored wood with her fingernail. "Nice furniture you got here. No wonder everyone in Kirkwall comes to visit you."

Anders crossed the room, rolling his eyes, and dropped the pack of materials by the table. "You're not going to be very helpful with this ritual since you're not a mage, but you're welcome to observe. Without touching anything." He smacked her curious hands away from the bag.

"Sooo… Are you going to draw a magic circle with wax and candles and rub your naked body down with this stuff or what?"

"As a matter of fact, today is your lucky day. I have to wear as little as possible so the energy can flow around me. I'll try to make it a good show for you." He teased. She clapped her hands together, only half-feigning her excitement. Who wouldn't want to see _that_ mostly naked? "However," he continued, "I will not be rubbing myself down with anything. Those are the main ingredients in an elixir that will separate my mind from Justice's."

Hawke gave him a look of mild disgust. "You're going to drink that stuff? Delightful."

"Just wait: this'll be a big hit with the nobles in no time." Anders smirked at her, but she could see his teeth clenched behind his lips.

"Is he bothering you?" Hawke asked quietly, humor fading from her eyes. Anders laughed, but it sounded slightly forced.

"He's chewing me out for this. He's been yelling at me since I first proposed the plan to him. He understands what I want, and yet… his sense of duty is overwhelming." The mage rubbed the bridge of his nose and sighed. "He exists now to fight the templars. There is nothing else for him."

Hawke stood up and pulled him into a quick embrace, willing her strength into him. She pulled back and smiled. "You can do this, Anders. I know he was your friend, but… he's changed. You know that."

"I know. And I thank you for your support. I don't know how I could have done this without you." He offered a sincere smile, a rarity in his current condition. "I'm going to get everything ready. It's time." 

Hawke kept forgetting to breathe. It was dark in the clinic; the preparations took a good few hours. The only source of light came from the odd blue flames that were floating near Anders' head as he sat cross-legged, whispering under his breath.

_Relax, Hawke._ She forced herself to take a breath, drawing warm, heavy air into her lungs. She tried to focus on his wonderful state of near-nakedness, but thoughts of the impending ritual dug their claws into her brain and scratched at her composure. She wiped a bead of sweat from her forehead, determined to stick this out with Anders, no matter how long it took or what happened during the ritual.

She was starting to get jittery. The mage had been sitting in that position for what felt like days, just muttering to himself while the eerie sapphire flames paraded around his head like a bizarre funeral procession. There was an intricately carved goblet sitting in front of him, though Hawke knew its outward beauty belied its foul contents.

Just as Hawke was starting to doze off on her feet, Anders' eyes shot open, blue light emanating from deep within his skull. His voice rose to a crescendo, and now Hawke could hear that he was not speaking the common tongue. Her ears were straining to make sense of the strange language spewing from his mouth, but the noises became nothing more than a jumbled racket clanging around in her head.

Anders—or was it Justice, now?—rose to his knees. With a boom that made Hawke jump, the mage swung his fist against the ground next to the chalice. Even in the dim light, Hawke could see hairline cracks radiating from his fist. The show of strength made her heart skip a beat.

Still he uttered that garbled tongue. His fist loosened, fingers spreading out along the cracks. The blue in his eyes was spreading through his veins, seeping out through his fingertips. The liquid in the cup was shifting like sand, defying gravity as Anders passed his other hand over the goblet.

The mage went quiet. An odd silence pervaded the room, broken only by the soft crackling of the pale blue flames. Anders grasped the stem of the glass and, ever-so-slowly, lifted it to his lips. With a few large gulps, he downed the liquid and slammed the cup back down onto the stone. Immediately, he began convulsing.

Hawke could only watch wide-eyed as the man doubled over, spasms rippling along his spine as he pressed his forehead to the cold floor. She heard his gasps and groans as the elixir worked its magic and felt utterly helpless for the first time in her life.

When Anders started shining like a beacon, Hawke started to think she may be hallucinating. Rays that shone like diamonds and lapis lazuli emanated from every pore, each moving towards the mage's back, rising from his body like a rainfall being sucked back up into the sky. An unnerving shriek rose with the light.

The glow began to take shape. The indefinite form of a man wavered, still peeling itself from Anders' spine. The shriek turned into two different sounds, one of a deeper tone that was ripped from the mage's lungs, and one that seemed to rise in pitch with the rays. Hawke saw the last few beams tear themselves from Anders' lower back, and the screech rose to an unbearable frequency. She covered her ears and fell to her knees as her vision blurred from the vibrations in her head.

Silence. After a moment, Hawke removed her palms from her head, noting that they came away slick. The small blue flame still circled Anders, seeming even fainter after the brilliance of the expulsion.

Hawke could see his chest rising and falling heavily. She crawled toward the dazed mage, reaching a shaky hand out to touch his shoulder. He flinched slightly then turned his head to look up at her from the ground. His eyes were glazed, but there was a small smile on his face.

His mouth was moving, but Hawke could hear nothing but a dull ringing in her ears. She shook her head and pointed at her ears. Despite his obvious fatigue, he managed to raise a hand to her head and push some healing magic into her. The ringing instantly stopped and she could hear his harsh breathing, loud in the empty clinic.

"It's quiet," he said again, pushing himself over onto his back. "He's gone. I… I can think again. I can hear my own thoughts!" Upside down, he grinned at her like a cat with a saucer of milk. She smirked, his elation contagious.

"Good. Now you can lighten up. Ride a dragon, run through a field of daisies. Whatever the hell you like to do in your spare time." She collapsed next to him, eliciting an "oof" as she rested her head on his stomach.

"You can add collecting kittens to that list. Now if you'll excuse me, I'd like to pass out. Anders, over and out." And with that, he closed his eyes and snapped his fingers, extinguishing the flame, plunging them both into a comfortable darkness. 


	2. Chapter 2

Hawke awoke to the sensation of fingers gently running through her hair. It felt divine and she almost purred as she snuggled closer to the heat source at her side. It chuckled and tightened its grip in her. In her half-awake state, she came to the bleary realization that she was lying next to Anders on the cold, dirty ground of his clinic, but she couldn't care less. She had Anders next to her, not Anders-possessed-by-Justice.

She felt his lips brush her head and felt his chest rise and fall as he sighed contentedly. "I never thought I would ever be able to focus on you like this. I thought Justice would always be at the front of my skull, pounding his 'duty' and 'vengeance' into my head." She blinked her eyes, raising her hand to rub the sleep away.

"I, for one, am glad he's gone. You're so much more… relaxed." She smiled softly as she ran her hand up his chest. She moved her body up farther, bring their lips together. The kisses were tentative at first, each testing out the new yet oh-so-familiar territory. Hawke soon became bored with the shy kisses and pressed her mouth more firmly to Anders'. She slid her tongue along his lips and he readily responded, opening his mouth so she could investigate further. Their lips crashed back together, both feeling arousal's fire burning in their stomach.

They broke away after a minute so Hawke could place soft kisses along his jaw. She shifted so she could kiss his throat, the soft caress putting a hitch in his breath.

"Damn, woman. Already?" he teased. She smirked and removed her head from his neck.

"Well, if you're not up to it…"

"No!" he protested, pulling her back down toward him. "You can stay right there and keep doing what you're doing. I'll just… enjoy." He sighed again as she resumed her ministrations. She found a particularly sensitive spot and his breath came out in a quick whoosh, tightening something in her core. She shifted restlessly, wrapping her leg around his thigh. He moved his hips involuntarily as it brushed the front of his trousers.

"By the Maker, Hawke," he groaned and bucked his hips as she bit down on his accelerating pulse. Each touch of her teeth and tongue sent tiny fingers of arousal through his stomach, caressing his manhood and bringing him to full attention.

Hawke reveled in the groans she was pulling from his throat, each vibration fanning the small flames in her body. A heat was spreading from her abdomen through her hips to the spot between her legs. She felt a throbbing there and she experimentally curled her hips inward, rubbing herself on his leg. His arm around her tightened even more.

"Hawke…" the mage hissed as he ran his other hand along her side, feeling the feminine dip of her waist and the curve of her hips. He ran his hand back up, resting his fingers on her ribcage as he stroked her breast with his thumb through her thin armor. She pushed closer to him even as she continued teasing his neck. He needed her to _touch_ him. He twitched his hips, but his erection met nothing but the cloth of his pants.

Hawke felt his growing desire, and each movement of his hips added to hers. She could feel her nipples straining against her leather armor, aching for the feel of his hot mouth or his rough hands. Impatiently, she broke away from him to sit up and unbuckle the offending leather. His hands followed her movements, running over her hips and waist even as she chucked the breast piece across the room. She shimmied out of the leather skirt and was left in nothing but a soft cloth that kept her armor from clinging to her skin and thin panties.

She returned to her previous position, only more on top of him, the material of her shirt brushing his bare chest. She attached her mouth to his and they kissed hungrily as their hands explored with a passion they had kept in check with Justice around.

Anders grabbed her ribs again, rubbing the underside of her breasts, moving slowly up and around her nipples, purposefully avoiding the most sensitive spots. She whimpered into his mouth, causing him to tighten his hands and push his hips upward. Still his frustration found no relief.

Hawke ran her hand down Anders' finely muscled chest, running her fingertips lightly across his hipbones and dipping into his inner thigh. When he tried to thrust up again she held him down with her knee. "Stay still or I'll stop," she threatened, the fever of her touch almost blocking her words out. He froze immediately. She smirked. "Good boy."

Her fingers danced farther down his thigh, then up around the tent in his pants. Down the other side and back up again. He bit his lip and let his head fall back as he used every ounce of his willpower not to move his hips. His hands grasped her ribs as if she was his lifeline to sanity. Her shirt rubbed over his chest again and he moved his thumbs up to brush across her nipples. Her body twitched violently and she gasped, clutching at his hip and arching her back.

Jolts ran from her nipples to her clitoris and she paused to soak in the feeling. He did it again, this time sending a tiny bit of electricity through the sensitive buds.

"A-ah!" she gasped, her entrance spasming. She could feel the slickness between her legs as she wiggled her hips to relieve some of the pressure.

Anders let out a breathy groan as the beautiful creature above him writhed in pleasure. "Maker, I can almost feel how wet you are right now. Do you like that, Hawke?" Another jolt of electricity and her eyes rolled back in her head. "I bet you'd come if I touched you down there."

"A-Anders," she moaned, releasing her grip on his hip and trailing her fingers up his impressive erection. He pressed his hips down, trying to become one with the floor so he wouldn't thrust up. "You know you're the only one who can make me this wet…" she whispered, the confession making his cock twitch. He bit his lip to stifle a loud moan as her hand loosely circled his manhood, moving up and rubbing the soft head through his pants.

"Hawke," he groaned. He flicked her nipples again and she spasmed, her opening grasping for his length. "Nnn!" he groaned through his teeth as the action caused her hand to tighten around him.

"Anders," she breathed, "I want you to touch me." He was all too happy to oblige. His hands pulled at her shirt until she sat up and ripped it off. She pulled off her panties as well and squeaked as he rose up and pushed her down on the ground. She shivered when her back hit the cold stone until he pressed his palm to the ground and sent heat through the rock around them.

"Your _talents_ are incredible," she purred. He smirked and raised himself above her, holding himself up with one hand and running the other down her body. He cupped her breast and pinched the nipple gently, enjoying the way her hips moved at his touch. He flicked it one last time before moving his hand lower, spreading the palm over her flat stomach. She was tiny compared to him.

Hawke stretched like a cat as his fingers traced a path lower on her body. He drew circles on her hip before moving to her inner thigh, sending tiny jolts of electricity through the sensitive skin. Her mouth was open and she was flushed and panting as he spread her legs wide. He rubbed the junction of her leg and could feel the slickness even there.

"You are so wet," he growled in her ear before running a finger down her slit. She shivered and raised her hips to meet his hand. He easily slid a finger into her. He caressed her walls and brought her higher, though he avoided touching her clit. She changed the angle of her hips to try to get friction in that spot. "You are going to come as soon as I touch you there. Even after you come, you'll want me inside you, stretching you and filling you." She shuddered, unable to do anything but moan her agreement.

He took his finger from her and ran it back up her slit. Just when she thought she would be consumed by the fire in her belly, he pressed down on her clit and rubbed, sending a tiny shock of lightning into the bundle of nerves. She jerked once, then her entire body tensed and she convulsed, mouth open in a silent scream.

Anders watched with a primal hunger in his eyes as she rode out her orgasm. His cock was twitching and he was so hard he could barely think straight. He slid his finger into her again and she shivered. He could feel the muscles clamping down and releasing as the aftershocks died out. She laid underneath him breathing heavily, a flush dusting her cheeks.

"Are you still ready for me, love?" he asked as he pumped his finger in and out slowly. Her eyes glazed over again and she nodded. He pulled away from her to slide his pants off and free his painful erection. She looked slightly disappointed until she got an eyeful of what he had to offer. The edge of her mouth twitched up in a crooked smile.

"I almost forgot how… impressive you are, my dear mage." Her voice was sultry and his body felt like it was burning up as he crawled back over her.

"Well, I'll just have to make it so you never forget again." He nuzzled her neck, placing a kiss at the juncture of her neck as he nudged her opening with the head of his erection. She lifted her legs to his hips and he pressed down into her, bringing their bodies flush as he pushed into her.

"Oh," she gasped as he went deeper and deeper until he could go no farther. He pulled out and began a slow rhythm that muddled her brain and kept her mewling like a kitten. She pushed her hips up harder to meet his and he quickened his pace, breathing heavily in her ear. His hand clenched around her waist as he tried to keep some semblance of control. Hawke wanted none of it. She grabbed his head and, finding his hair tie a nuisance, pulled it from his hair, stroking his hair as it fell to frame his face.

"Come on, Anders—_ooh—_fuck me _harder._ Fuck me until I can't walk or see straight or—_Maker_…"

With a "_fuck_," the mage helplessly began to pound her into the ground. There were white spots creeping in on his vision as he panted into her ear, hips thrusting wildly. He could feel her trembling under him and her muscles were clamping down on him and it felt so damn _good._

Hawke thrashed underneath him, incoherently urging him on with moans and whimpers. He was able to hit _that spot_ with each thrust and the heat of an impending orgasm spread through her pelvis. "Oh, Anders, don't stop—_right there_."

He felt his orgasm creeping down his spine and he reined it in with sheer force of will, reaching between them to brush his fingers against her clit. He felt her clamp down like a vise and it took one more thrust to send him careening over the edge as her muscles seized around his cock. He felt the quake of their combined orgasm all the way to his toes. He continued to thrust weakly into her as he came down.

"_Damn,_" Hawke breathed, running her fingers through his hair, wondering off-handedly to herself why he never wore it down. He laughed in agreement and pulled out slowly when he caught his breath.

"Damn is right." He pulled her close, resting her head on his chest. "This is so much better without Justice screaming in my ear." He felt her smile against his chest.

"I love you. You know that, right?" she whispered tiredly.

"I know, love. I love you, too."

It felt good to know the words were finally heard by them alone.

_Ta-daaaa! First lemon ever, booyah. Good? Bad? Awful? Let me know what you think! _


End file.
